<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Can I Stay by Your Side? by kdkdkd</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630896">Can I Stay by Your Side?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kdkdkd/pseuds/kdkdkd'>kdkdkd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asshole Sasuke, Courtship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Misunderstandings, One-Sided Relationship, One-sided pining, Perceived Rejection, Pining, asexual itachi, but its a misunderstanding dont worry, courting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:41:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kdkdkd/pseuds/kdkdkd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You need to leave Itachi alone"<br/>"What the hell are you talking about?"<br/>"The only reason he accepted your courting is because he's terrified of you! He doesn't like you back, and he never will"</p><p> </p><p>Kisame knew that most people were scared of him. He was huge, ugly, and didn't have the most pleasant personality. He never thought anyone could love him, until he met Itachi.</p><p>But maybe that was too good to be true.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>188</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Can I Stay by Your Side?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the first story I have ever written. I have to admit that I started writing out of boredom due to lockdown. I actually haven't thought about this ship in ages! But I was inspired to write angst, and I felt Kisame and Itachi would be the closest fit character-wise for the conflict that I wanted to write.</p><p>The plot bunny was basically only the confrontation between Sasuke and Kisame. All all the other plot details are spontaneous. I'm definitely a beginner at this so I can only promise that I tried my best~</p><p>Criticism is okay but please be polite</p><p>Title is from the English translated lyrics of Moon by Kim Seokjin.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kisame knew that most people were scared of him. He was huge, ugly, and didn't have the most pleasant personality. He never thought anyone could love him, until he met Itachi.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>He first saw Itachi while hunting game in the forest for the village feast. The feast was to welcome the newcomers joining the village, and Kisame was the best hunter they had.</p><p>He didn't have many friends, but the civillians respected his skills. While treading lightly through the forest, he saw a slender figure kneeling next to the river. They had waist length hair in an intricate braid down their back. Kisame was curious as he didn't recognise the figure at all.</p><p>He walked closer, not making any attempts to hide the sound of his footsteps. A branch cracked loudly under his foot, and the figure gracefully turned back.</p><p>Large onyx eyes, smooth fair skin, and a gentle rosebud mouth.</p><p>Kisame's brain froze. "Beautiful," he blurted out loud.</p><p>The beauty's eyes widened, and Kisame felt embarrassed. He hurried away in absolute mortification.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>He found out during the feast that the Uchihas were one of the new families moving into their village. They had two sons, the elder being Itachi and the younger being Sasuke. The family was welcomed during the feast, due to the family being trained medics.</p><p>Kisame couldn't take his eyes off of Itachi during the feast.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>Kisame was smitten. For weeks he would find any excuse to be near Itachi. Whether it was seeking help for minor injuries, or offering his aid for anything, be it gathering materials or lifting things, Kisame orbitted around Itachi like he was the Sun.</p><p>Itachi rarely made eye contact, but his quiet replies always made his day. He treasured every interaction.</p><p>He liked rambling to Itachi. Itachi's presence was comforting and he felt like he could talk about anything. He shared his past, his likes, dislikes and things he found funny.</p><p>He wished to know more and he gained knowledge through observation. He knew that Itachi loved purple and would always add purple to his hair accesories. He loved sunflowers and would keep the flowers after crushing the leaves for medicine. He didnt smile often, or very big, but his lips would quirk slightly at the corners when Kisame tried complimenting him awkwardly.</p><p>The few times Itachi looked at his body or face, he never noticed him flinch, or any hint of fear or revulsion that most civilians had.</p><p>Kisame felt that he could call Itachi his closest friend, and felt hope blooming that they could be more.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>One day, as the sky slowly transitioned into dark pinks and purples, Kisame gathered his courage.</p><p>He tightly held a bouquet of sunflowers in his sweaty grip and nervously entered the apothecary. Itachi was draped gracefully over the front counter.</p><p>He cleared his throat, "Itachi." His voice seemed too loud in the silence.</p><p>Itachi looked up, briefly making eye contact before his gaze skittered down to the bouquet. His eyes brightened and Kisame gained confidence. He thrust the bouquet at Itachi, speaking quickly. "I really like you, and I think you're the most beautiful and talented man I've ever met. Will you let me court you?"</p><p>The ensuing silence was incredibly awkward and lasted longer than expected. Kisame watched as Itachi's eyes widened and face became blank. Kisame felt oddly wrong-footed and ready to crawl out of his skin.</p><p>He'd made sure to wear his best outfit and comb his hair to cover the scars on the sides of his face. He'd even picked the best looking sunflowers he could find.</p><p>Itachi broke the quiet, "Okay." Kisame's heart was pounding. Itachi's lips quirked slightly. He said yes! Kisame felt happiness bursting through his chest. He grinned and thrust the sunflowers at Itachi so he could take them.</p><p>Itachi caressed the petals slowly and looked at Kisame. His beloved features weren't as ecstatic as it had been in his fantasies of this moment. But Kisame felt lucky anyway.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>Courting Itachi was amazing. He felt like he was living a dream. He could finally bring endless gifts without seeming weird.</p><p>He brought sunflowers countless times, and the best meat parts of the game he caught before giving the rest to the village's kitchens. He made bracelets by carving the prettiest pebbles he could find. He collected every purple thing he could see, fruits, rocks and flowers, just for Itachi.</p><p>The village was apprehensive about this development. Kisame could tell that the civillians were worried and fearful for Itachi. It angered him internally, he had never done anything harmful to them. He had only gotten violent a few times in the past to abusive and lecherous men who didn't deserve to be in the village. They were grateful to him, but still fearful and it had made him melancholic for years.</p><p>But now, he didn't care what they thought. He only cared about the tiny quirks of Itachi's lips that he had when looking at his courting gifts.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>Everything fell apart on a bright, sunny day.</p><p>He saw that the door of the apothecary was closed, so he knocked and waited.</p><p>The door opened, but it wasn't Itachi. It was Sasuke.</p><p>Sasuke glared at him, and his glared intensified when he saw the sunflowers Kisame was carrying.</p><p>Sasuke often travelled to other villages to learn and train. Kisame had rarely seen him in the village, and not at all since he'd started courting Itachi.</p><p>Kisame started at the glaring brat in confusion. "...Can I come in? I'm here to see Itachi."</p><p>"No," Sasuke spat out. Kisame was bewildered by the hostility.</p><p>"You need to leave Itachi alone!" Sasuke burst out.</p><p>Kisame was so lost. What was happening? "Why? What the hell are you talking about?"</p><p>Sasuke laughed coldly, "How dare you think you deserve Itachi? Look at you. The only reason he accepted your courting is because he's terrified of you. He didn't want to find out what you would do to him if you got rejected."</p><p>All the blood drained from Kisame's face. His legs felt weak.</p><p>"He doesn't like you back and he never will."</p><p>Kisame could actually feel his heart cracking. He didn't dare to look at whatever expression Sasuke had on his face. He turned on his heel numbly and hurried away.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>He didn't know how he made it there but he found himself by the river where he first met Itachi.</p><p>Sasuke was lying he told himself desperately.</p><p><em>Are you sure? Maybe he's right</em>.</p><p>He thought of Itachi's reaction when he asked for permission to court. Had he been happy at all?</p><p>What abt the weeks since then? Had he really been pleased about any of the gifts? It felt like all his nightmares and internal demons had come to life.</p><p>He felt a wave of self-loathing.</p><p>
  <em>Why would Itachi love someone like you? </em>
</p><p>Had Itachi been scared this whole time? Had their entire friendship been a lie?</p><p>His head was spinning and he felt like throwing up. Slowly his devastation morphed into anger. Anger at Itachi.</p><p>Why did he never say anything? How could he have led him on like this? He looked at his reflection and felt disgust looking at his scars and greyish skin. He grabbed the crushed sunflowers in his hands and tossed it into the river, breaking his reflection into ripples.</p><p>Surely Itachi must have known that he would never force- Surely he knew that he would never hurt-</p><p>His anger left as fast as it came. He felt empty. If Itachi had been scared of him this entire time, who knew what he thought Kisame was capable of.</p><p>He had thought all his dreams came true. But maybe it was too good to be true.</p><p>He made a decision right there. Itachi didn't deserve to live in fear. He would never burden Itachi with his feelings or presence ever again.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>The next few days were the worse in his life. He avoided healer house and the communal eating areas when Itachi might be there. He spent most of his time wandering the forest morosely.</p><p>He had never realised how dependent he had become on Itachi's presence. His days seemed dull and lifeless without Itachi's soothing presence.</p><p>He spent a lot of time dissecting ever interaction he had ever had with Itachi, and spiralling deeper into sadness.</p><p>How could he not have noticed the unhappiness of the love of his life? His memories started morphing differently.</p><p>The Itachi in his memories looked bored with his ramblings. Or uncomfortable with his compliments. There was a tinge of fear in his eyes during the courting proposal, and in the days following that memory.</p><p>He was driving himself insane. Surely Itachi hadn't despised him that much. Itachi looked gentle but had a spine of steel. Wouldn't he have said something? Told Kisame to get lost?</p><p>And their entire friendship couldn't have been a lie. He had exposed himself to Itachi completely, mind and soul. He had shared his insecurities of his appearance and the village's fear. He wanted to think that Itachi knew him enough to know that he would never hurt the other.</p><p>He may not deserve to be Itachi's lover, but he missed his friend.</p><p>He needed closure at the very least. He needed to confront Itachi.</p><p>Unexpectedly, it was Itachi who confronted him first.</p><p> </p><p>===========</p><p> </p><p>He was taking off his hunting gear and hanging up his bow when his front door burst open.</p><p>"Kisame Hoshigaki."</p><p>He turned around, startled. Itachi stood in the doorway, more emotion on his face than Kisame have ever seen. His onyx eyes were cold and his lips were pursed tightly. There was a beautiful angry flush on his cheeks.</p><p>Kisame swallowed, feeling both attracted and fearful suddenly.</p><p>Itachi glided in right up to him, delicate hand reaching up to jab his pointer finger into his chest painfully.</p><p>"How dare you avoid me," he hissed quietly.</p><p>Both the touch and Itachi's soft voice sent shivers down Kisame's spine.</p><p>"I- I- " Kisame stuttered dumbly.</p><p>"If you wanted to stop courting me, you should just say so. Hiding like a coward is pathetic," Itachi glared.</p><p>Kisame felt like he'd been slapped. What. What?? "What the hell are you talking about?" he stammered.</p><p>Itachi's shoulders slumped and his glare faded.</p><p>"Maybe you got bored of me. But you can't just abandon me like this, Kisa. I miss my best friend," he whispers, dropping his gaze to the ground.</p><p>Kisame felt like he had been stabbed. Without even thinking, he stepped forward and pressed Itachi into his chest, hugging him tight. Surprisingly, Itachi relaxed immediately and wrapped his own arms around Kisame.</p><p>Kisame felt braver talking to the top of Itachi's head instead of his face. "Itachi, I'm confused as fuck honestly. I didn't get bored of you or want to stop courting you. And I definitely didn't enjoy avoiding you," he said softly.</p><p>"Then why?" came a soft mumble.</p><p>Kisame tried to answer without showing any of his own hurt, not wanting Itachi to get even sadder. "Your brother told me that you only accepted the courtship offer out of fear. And that I should stay away from you...Tachi, I never wanted to scare you. And knowing I've been hurting you from the start kills me inside."</p><p>Itachi blinked and stepped away from him. Kisame tried not to wince.</p><p>"I've never been scared. Sasuke really said that? I'm going to kill him." Kisame widened his eyes in confusion. What? Itachi placed a gentle hand on his face. Kisame couldn't help but nuzzle into it.</p><p>"Kisame, you have to know I enjoy our time together. You're my best friend. I.. love you." Kisame was sure he was dreaming.</p><p>His heart felt like it had stopped. He tried to speak, but felt like he had lost his voice. Itachi waited patiently.</p><p>"I love you too Tachi," he croaked. Kisame watched the raven's eyes widen and cheeks flush. Itachi looked adorable but..</p><p>"Why...did you look strange when I proposed courtship though? And you were never as happy as I thought you would be in the weeks after that... Sasuke must have had a reason to say all those things, and I really did believe him," he questioned, feeling pinpricks of doubt.</p><p>"Sasuke doesn't understand how much you mean to me. Just like the judgemental villagers. He kept warning me against you, but I ignored him. I never thought the would sabotage my happiness like this though," Itachi's mouth twisted sadly.</p><p>Kisame took Itachi's hands, and gently drew him back into a hug. "As for our courtship... Kisame, I was always happy with you. I was just worried about things."</p><p>"Worried about what, darling?" he asked. Itachi's lips quirked. Kisame smiled fondly.</p><p>Itachi continued hesitantly, "Kisame...I don't want to have sex with you-"</p><p>Kisame tensed up. Because of the way he looked? Was Itachi repulsed after all?</p><p>Itachi felt him tensed and hurried to finish, "Not just you! I don't want to have sex with anyone. Sex makes me uncomfortable, and it's not something I ever want to do. I wasn't sure if you could be in a relationship with someone like that..."</p><p>Itachi looked up with solemn eyes. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I was afraid. But I think worrying silently hurt you more. Kisame, I understand if you don't want to court me anymore. But I hope we can remain friends."</p><p>Kisame felt his head spinning with so much new information. "Itachi, I love your mind and soul. You not being able to have sex is unexpected, but it's not a bad thing. I still love you. And i would love to be yours," he said gently.</p><p>Itachi smiled up at him. He glanced away shyly, "I do like kissing though," he murmured quietly.</p><p>Kisame laughed, leaning down to meet Itachi's lips in a kiss. He was in awe. He wouldn't have ever thought things would turn out this way. Guess his dream wasn't too good to be true.</p><p>The two of them stayed in their embrace, basking in their mutual love.</p><p>"...There's still one thing I have to do though"</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"Kill Sasuke"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not quite sure if I'm happy with this story or not, unfortunately. However i'll give myself a tiny pat on the back for effort at least. </p><p>The angst didn't turn out the way I wanted. Misunderstandings is a harder trope than I thought! Alas, i'd hoped it would be far more tear-inducing that it is now.</p><p>Definitely planning to write more (hopefully in the MDZS fandom)</p><p>Thanks for reading my first effort though. Kudos and comments are appreciated!</p><p>Do come talk to me on <em><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/kdpiedpiper?s=09">twitter</a></strong></em>! i'm open to prompts. Or just screaming about different shows and fandoms :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>